livingwithcancerandjesus

GOD TAKES OUR BURDENS

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  Matthew 11:28-29  

In the above scripture, Jesus’ heart is revealed.  Although here he speaks of giving us rest from the burden of our sins, there is no reason why we can not go to him in other times of distress and trouble and find rest.  Jesus never promised to change our situation, but spending time with him can give us strength, peace and a different perspective on our plight.  Then we are able to see from heaven’s perspective.

“Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.  But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”  Isaiah 53:4-5

This prophetic scripture talks about the sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf.  We have pain and suffering in this fallen world.  Operative word is “fallen”.  Meaning sinful, turned away from God.  There are so many blessings in the cross of Christ.  First, salvation to anyone who comes to the cross and asks for it.  Second, healing of our sins.  Once forgiven, always forgiven.  Jesus paid it all.  Then there are blessings of emotional, physical and mental healing.  Some may not be healed until we go to be with the Lord.  Which brings me to the final blessing.  Complete restoration on that day the Lord brings us to our real home which is heaven.  In the mean time, he is with us and walks us through everything we encounter in this life.

Cancer (or other undesirable circumstance) can make you:

Bitter, angry, sad, frightened, unsure of your future, withdraw from family and friends, depressed, lonely, abandoned, feel like your spirit and soul have been crushed, feel less than, question God’s love for you.

Psalm 138 of David (italicized verses – promises I have experienced during my walk with cancer and Jesus)

 ¹ I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
   before the “gods” I will sing your praise.
² I will bow down toward your holy temple
   and will praise your name
   for your love and your faithfulness,

   for you have exalted above all things
   your name and your word.
³ When I called, you answered me;
   you made me bold and stouthearted.

 ⁴ May all the kings of the earth praise you, O LORD,
   when they hear the words of your mouth.
⁵ May they sing of the ways of the LORD,
   for the glory of the LORD is great.

 ⁶ Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly,
   but the proud he knows from afar.
⁷ Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
   you preserve my life;
   you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes,
   with your right hand you save me.
⁸ The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
   your love, O LORD, endures forever—
   do not abandon the works of your hands.

My family was told that the surgery was going to be about 5-6 hours long.  As my sister and brother-in-law were 10 minutes away from the hospital, she received a text message from my sister at the hospital saying the doctor wanted to talk to them.  To which my poor sister freaked out because they were only about 4 hours into the surgery.  She thought something was terribly wrong.   They communicated again and it turns out that he wanted to speak with them because he was done with the surgery.  So the surgery itself lasted about 4 ½ hours long.  I was in recovery for 4 hours and went to a room.  No extended intubation or ICU.  Evidently the doctors were extremely happy that the surgery went without any issues.  The plastic surgeon made all the difference in the world and made the doctor’s job extremely easy.

There is no way in heaven or on earth that anyone will be able to convince me that Jesus, my Great Physician was not in that OR. 

I was told that I would be in the hospital for 10-14 days.  I came home on day nine.  Everyone on the 15^th floor of Smilow Cancer Hospital at Yale was cheering me on and amazed at my recovery and early discharge.  All the credit goes to God.  He has encouraged and cheered me on through his word, my family and friends.  That was the strength I needed.  Evidently a lot of folks get very depressed in the hospital and have a lethargic attitude about their part to prepare to go home.  God and my family would not let that happen.  I keep telling people that I am glad to be here alive and kicking.

It has been a huge part of my journey with God, one that will continue for a long time.  My earnest prayer is that God will use my cancer to help you through yours.

Here I am, two days after discharge from the hospital.  And all went very well.  To recap, I had to have my bladder removed due to muscle invasive cancer.  The doctor had to do a full hysterectomy along with full bladder and lymph node removal around the area.  Then he constructed an ileal conduit urinary diversion.  Due to my weight, a plastic surgeon came in and did an abdominoplasty, which is remove extra skin in my abdomen first.

I remember the morning of the surgery, October 14, 2011.  There were many doctors, repetitive questions and finally seeing each physician before I went in.  It is emotionally overwhelming when all this happens.  As I hugged my sister in-law and niece before being taken to the OR, I started to cry.  Let me tell you.  This kind of surgery is very scary.  It is overwhelming.  My sister in-law kept saying “God’s got this, God’s got this.”

The staff was wonderful and very comforting.  I really thought I was strong and had held it together.  I guess I had a moment of “crisis of faith”.  But Jesus promises in John 14:7 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

As I lay on the OR table with general anesthesia being administered through a mask, I prayed, “Father, my life is in your hands.  I trust you.  Please be the great Physician that you are and heal me in whatever manner you see fit.”  Then I passed out.  That was the last thought I had.  I talked with my heavenly Father.  No way was He going to let me forget my prayer even though I was going unconscious.